DON’T COVER IT

DON’T COVER IT

 

I don’t understand women and their obsession with keeping things perfect.  Back in the day, women would cover new furniture with plastic slip covers.  That old couch would be as good as new under the plastic, but it looked like crap and was weird as hell to sit on over the plastic.

At some point women learned the error of their plastic slip cover ways. I don’t think anyone would invest in the slip cover industry today, but that old “slip cover” instinct is still alive, at least for Mrs. Cranky.

Every new electronic device today comes with a thin film of plastic to protect that device from being scratched before it is sold.  Mrs. Cranky insists on not removing this plastic film in order to continue the scratch protection.

This drives me crazy.  In a short period of time this invisible film becomes very visible.  Air bubbles develop which makes the film more distracting than any scratch could possibly be.  The edges of the film start to peel and just scream, “Rip me off!”

“Can I just rip that crap off, it is driving me crazy?”

“No, it protects the cover from ugly scratches.”

“But the protective cover that guards against ugly scratches is ugly!”

“It is scratch free underneath, leave it alone.”

We are caught in an OCD hell.  That bubbled film is like flaking skin after a sun burn.  It is just screams to me, “Tear me the frig off!”  Mrs. C’s OCD sees only the pristine plastic under the film and it screams to her, “Don’t touch me!”

I lose this battle every time.  Once the film is off there is no turning back and when the underneath subsequently gets that inevitable scratch I would never hear the end of it.  I am forced to endure the ugly bubbled-up, starting-to-peel protective film on every DVD and CD player, every cable box and every electronic control panel in the house.

Maybe someday, the protective film will go the way of plastic slip covers.  I would like to see manufacturers sell their products with built in scratches instead of that ugly protective film.  Hell they could even advertise it:

“Our new control panel comes already scratched for your convenience so there is no need for ugly bubbled up protective film!”

I’d buy it, and I look forward to that day.  In the meantime I will just have to buck up and fight off that film tearing urge.

Maybe if I can fight the tearing urge, this summer I can leave that sunburned dead skin unpeeled.  Mrs. Cranky hates that.  I know it will drive her up the wall.

“Will you just rip that ugly dead skin off!”

“What, and let that new skin underneath get scratched?  I don’t think so.”

“Jerk!”